I always feel like a million dollars when I enter a discount store. The aisles are addled with everything from valentines from the mid 80's to walls full of Bruce Lee posters. There is seldom a place where you can buy both Hello Kitty stickers AND ancient canned foodstuffs. Unfortunately these shops have become a rarity, thus leading to my incredible depression and oft sleepless nights. There is a bright star shining through the dense fog of my dicountless hell though. On a routine trip to Target I met my new love. The 1 Spot! Piles of stuff for a dollar! How can you not love stuff that is a dollar. More specifically, how could you not BUY stuff that is dollar. My first trip to the 1 spot cost me $5 for potentially 10 years of fun. I recruited my good pal Duke to help me review my new favorite thing... BUG PUTTY!
Bug putty seems to be safe enough at first glance, but upon further inspection you see what looks like a big scary spider inside of orange slime! OOHHH. Scary. Anyway as I was watching my partner approach the mysterious goop I knew trouble was imminent. Someone was going to get hurt. Let's just get to the review though. Here comes Duke!
At first he approached with caution. The unknown muck had a scary spider in it, and he wasn't about to risk it jumping on to his face and biting his tongue off in little bitty pieces. This is a library after all. He got a little gutsy and moved forward though. Be careful Duke.
As Duke slowly opened the canister that most certainly would contain the impending reign of zombie kings over the human race I knew there would be trouble, I could see there was a huge spider inside. Of course, Duke tipped it over. Words can not do what happened justice, just look at these pictures!
Needless to say, Duke was finished with his review at that time and I let him go home and sleep over the numerous spider bites that now resided on what used to be a gorgeous face. So took the review into my own hands. What you find inside Bug Putty is something like you have never seen before. When I made my purchase I was expecting a nice big glob of gooey slime. However, when I popped open the high quality plastic lid I saw something amazing. Not only was there an awesome plastic spider suspended in the goop, but the goop wasn't slime at all!
This is some sort of new age silly putty. It has a sort of memory to it, so you can make it into a ball or a weird carrot like shape like I did above. Unlike classic incarnations of slime like ghostbusters or masters of the universe slime, this doesn't seem like it has the ability to be stuck to thing forever, like your hair or beard. A little aside for everyone: If you ever think "Hey, wouldn't it be awesome to put this silly putty in my facial hair and pretend like it is a part of it" your joke will work flawlessly, however, the silly putty is now actually a part of your face and you will never get it off.
Back to Bug Putty, its lack opacity makes me think of the blob. You know, that movie with the big blob of smegma that rolls around a eats up people and building. My natural reaction to this is obviously to try and recreate my own version of the movie with a spiderman minimate!
That sure was fun. Bug Putty turns out to be one of the best things I have ever spent $1 on. I could probably sit here for many hours just squeezing this stuff and making it make farting noises in it's poorly made case which I have now cracked in numerous places. This stuff could be comparable to Gak, except it is a little bit sturdier. I miss Gak so much. Anyway, if you are in Target and see the one spot I would recommend running over and picked up a few containers of this stuff. It provides endless fun and probably isn't carcinogenic, so go ahead and try to eat it.
IT'S DELICIOUS!!!!
|
