Daronockofaronicnogarium: Hello, my name is Daronockofaronicnogarium, or in your pathetic human language, Percy. I regularly visit the burning gates of hell to witness first hand the never ending stream of burning souls screaming out in pain and pleading for mercy. I guess I'm just that kind of guy. So anyway, the other day I was down there and I was just hanging out in my plastic home when this jerk came up and... well, let me just go back in time and relive what happened. PAROFANTAROCK INTEROCKY MODUNGO GOBACKINTIMEGO!
*foop foop foop*
Ken: Whoa, check out these Darkness Warriors! These are some of the most quality toys I've seen in quite some time now. I should take these home and give them to Guile so he will stop crying about how I broke his stupid TerrorDrome.
Ken: Look at this guy! He has the arms of a crazed gorrila and the head of a gamorrean guard. On top of all of that he has a big spike filled cape.
Percy: Hey, I'm not a toy you gi wearing taco cruncher.
Ken: WHOA! You talk.
Percy: Of course I talk and it just so happens I speak the same language as you even though I am an ever hateful demon who hails from the land of Daeshaparia. A place where only the most wicked of creatures dare walk upon the blood soaked soil that has seen over three million years of constant torment and suffering.
Ken: You got a little something on your lip. The right side there
Percy: Did I get it?
Ken: No the other right. It looks like mustard
Percy: Okay, how about now?
Ken: You got most of it.
Percy: Well did I get it or not? I didn't ask if it was mostly gone. Is it gone or not?
Ken: Yeah, it's pretty much gone.
Percy: I SHALL SUMMON THE HELL DEMON FARANCAPO TO FREE ME FROM MY PLASTIC SLUMBER... FARANCAPO IS A FOUR HEADED HORSE BEAST WHOSE ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO EAT THE FLESH OF THE MOST INNOCENT PEOPLE...
Ken: Shut up.
Percy: Okay, I'm sorry.
Percy: Okay this is much better, where was I?
Ken: You were about to get a four headed horse beast.
Percy: Oh yeah.
Ken: Is that a staff with a big hand on the end?
Percy: Yeah, I don't really like it, but it was a gift...
Ken: Oh yeah, I know how that goes.
Percy: You can't not use it because then the person who gave it to you will be all like "Where is that staff with the giant hand I gave to you at?" And what can you say to that?
Ken: Nothing.
Percy: Exactly! So I'm stuck carrying around a staff with a big hand on the end.
Ken: That's a pretty big buzzkill.
Percy: No kidding... wait, I HATE YOU!
Ken: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Iceman: Did I close the freezer door?
Percy: You will feel the pain of one million needles stabbing into your weak human flesh!
King Grumplepuff: Not so fast Daronockofaronicnogarium!
Percy: Oh no! It's King Grumplepuff!
King Grumplepuff: That's right, and I'm here to send you back where you belong.... what was that place called again?
Percy: Daeshaparia?
King Grumplepuff: Yeah, that place! Look out, because I am about to thrust my twirly sword deep into your person!
Ken: AHHH MY FACE!
Percy: EEEEK!
King Grumplepuff: Ahhh your hand staff just poked me in the eye. Geez, that really smarts.
Percy: In your face Grumplepuff!
Iceman: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I did. Gosh, I sure hope I did anyway.
Percy: And that is how it all happened. Ken died and King Grumplepuff needs to wear an eye patch now. I'm now living in a small one bedroom apartment with an effeminate wolfman named Terry.
