A couple days back I was told there was a place south of here that sold big cheeseburgers. Being a man with a propensity to participate in extremely gluttonous activities I was quick to agree to do anything to obtain one of these magnificent piles of meat. So after carrying furniture I approached Doug's 57 diner. I think it is named after Heinz 57 sauce. Perhaps the number of boxes of Flutie Flakes they had. I forgot to bring my camera so I wasn't able to take photographs of Doug's diner, however, I drew this picture in paint that looks like it, except not at all.
Upon our entrance we were soon being yelled at by our waitress who seems to be so happy she had to yell at me. I was confused slightly since I was right next to her and if she had spoke in a normal voice I would have been able to hear her just fine, but some people are insane. Like her. After regaining my hearing I glanced at the menu. Oh, there it is. The King Kong burger, two 1/3 pound beef patties and all the usual fixins! But no! What was that below it? The King Kong Deluxe! The same thing, but you just add ham and bacon! As everyone knows two pork products together can only produce one thing: complete burger bliss.
Not only was there the KKD, but I was told by the menu to ask about the challenge. The screaming waitress told me I would have to eat three King Kong Deluxes, I told her she was crazy and that I would eat two and she could shove the third where the sun don't shine. I didn't say that. I just thought of it now though, and it would have been pretty funny is I had said it. In reality I just ordered one. I ate it, felt good, then we ordered a couple to eat later. This is where we get some pictures!
Look at that bad boy. I included the bottle for scale purposes. If I had to make a guess about how tall it was I would say around 3 or 4 feet. I'm keen to overestimate though. Upon unwrapping the grilldebeest (you know... like a wildebeest, but in all actually a cheeseburger) I was mesmerized by the beauty. A stack of unadulterated meat and cheese with a light bread top and bottom. This is the kind of thing I live for. This is also the kind of thing that keeps me alive, food.
Yes. That is gorgeous. This is a poor angle though. You don't really get how big it is at this angle. This calls for... another picture already!
Yes, that is better. Look at that mass of meat and cheese. Who would have thought to put lunch meat on a cheeseburger? Only that wild Doug of Doug's 57 Diner. At the diner I ate mine with a fork because when it was hot it was dripping like Patrick Ewing in the 3rd quarter. With the burger cooled down now it had retained all of it's wonderful juices and I was able to pick the thing up and examine it. This calls for a bisection.
Now you can finally see the chaos that is the King Kong Deluxe. There is at least a pound of meat in there. Goodness that tasted good. I'm going to try to remake one of these in the near future. Maybe I'll let you know how it turns out, maybe not though.
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