CODE: Hulkster

Everybody loves cartoons. Whether they admit it or give you a wedgie and say "cartoons are for babies poopy pants", they still love them. However, my affection for animated fun fun has become so intense that I hardly enjoy any television programming with real people in it. Either that or TV just really sucks a lot now. I mean... what happened to quality shows like Step by Step, Family Matters, and Full House. That's a story for a different time though. Today we will delve into the wonderful world of Ham-Hams. That's right. It's Hamtaro Time.

For those of you who have not hopped on the Hamtaro band wagon yet, pack your bags and get ready for a super cute trip, because here comes Hamtaro and the Ham-Hams, whether you like it or not. Hamtaro is one of those new fangled cartoons from Japan that's super cute and makes you giggle just because of the noises they make. The story is that Hamtaro, a hamster owned by Laura the little girl, leaves his cage when Laura is gone to play with his other hamster friends in a clubhouse the field hamster Boss built. Hamtaro has many friends that regularly appear in the cartoon and some that only appear once in a great while. This article will feature only a few of his Ham Ham pals, more will be covered in later articles.

The first of the Ham-Hams to be introduced to you is Hamtaro, as you can see from the above gif, he is outstandingly cute and you are probably giggling as he rubs his cute little forehead. The real kicker is that when he does this he makes a noise that sounds like this, "Kshksh, Kshksh". Yeah, it doesn't look very cute, but try and say it in a really high pitched voice. Sounds pretty cute now, huh? Sometimes when I see him doing it I just giggle a lot and feel kind of homosexual, but then I think about it some more, and if giggling at cute cartoon hamsters makes me gay, then hand me those leather chaps and giant mustache and call me Hal. Is Hal a gay name? I couldn't really think of a good one.

Above you see the French Ham-Ham Bijou. She speaks with a French accent, which kind of takes the cuteness level down a notch at times, but at other times it's so cute I piss myself. Bijou thinks Hamtaro is hot stuff, but Hamtaro doesn't get it, Bijou lays it on pretty thick too. If there were such a thing as a Ham-Ham-Ho. I think I'd put Bijou at the top of the list. Just take a look at her, if you don't think hussy the second you see her then you must have bad eye sight. Look at those ribbons, they just scream 'take me where I stand'. Obviously she takes payment in sunflower seeds, look at her skipping away from her last customer, she makes me sick. Sick with giggles.

Above is the old field Ham-Ham, Boss. Boss is the Ham-Ham that built the clubhouse where all the other Hams meet up to plan their fun fun cute cute days and adventures. Boss is an old and wise Ham, not as old and wise as Elder Ham, whom we will show you later. Sometimes boss digs holes, and when he does he says "diggi-duggi, diggi-duggi" in his rough field ham voice. Cuter than cute. Well, now that we've introduced you to some of the Ham-Hams... it's time for: